I just can't get motivated! What is wrong with me? If Kirstie Alley can do it, I certainly should be able to. Did you see the hill she climbed? After watching her last show I looked into a fat farm. I thought that perhaps a week at a fat farm could give me the boost I needed. Let me just say, those places are not cheap. While I seek an alternative I had better get ready for work or I will not even be able to give thought to considering a fat farm. On the other hand, without a job I could not afford to go out to eat, which is in part how I got to the place I am today. Just kidding, I have to get over it and get motivated.

I am open to suggestions if anyone cares to share some ideas, perhaps Meatless in March has some ideas, he seems to have done an amazing job, the skinny little bitch. LOL, he's my son, I can say that and get away with it! Looking at my fit children should be a good reminder that I am not supposed to be fat. Oops, time to get in the shower, bye for now.

I am not a happy camper! I just watched Kirstie Alley's new show and she must have read my blog (LOL). But seriously, she is doing what I set out to do only she is doing it in front of a camera. She even stole my pet name, well sort of. I called Rich my Chubby Hubby and she is calling her handyman her Chubby Buddy. I guess now I have to compete with her.

There is one thing she thought of that I didn't and that is, rather than say how many pounds she needs to lose she refers to how many stones she needs to lose. A stone is valued at fourteen pounds. It is much easier to say I need to lose about three stones. No more weekends like the one I just had, yummy as it was. Here goes, wish me luck!

We just came back from having an amazing meal and let me tell you... little Miss Skinny Bitch came up with a good one. They served us four pieces of the best Bruchetta I have ever tasted and each of us had eaten one piece. I knew we were going to have an incredible meal so I was going to stop at one, but Bambi said, "You know, we really should eat this bread because we need it to soak up the alcohol we are about to drink." Is that genius or what? So, we just ate, both pieces of bruchetta, gnnoche, eggplant, butternut squash ravioli, and veal/filet mignon meatballs. I swear Bambi had a private moment with her meatball!

Did I mention we had two melon martini's each, red wine and special dessert coffee. Now we are about to open another bottle of wine and play slumber party while wearing our matching Victoria Secret PJ's!

You may be wondering what happened to my blog. Here's the thing, I really thought that humor would motivate me and help me to exercise more so that I had funny things to write about. Unfortunately that has not been the case. Instead, I work long hours and I am too tired to think about exercise. When I get home I start thinking about things I can eat and I actually entertain the idea of eating bad stuff to give me something to write about. I am one sick puppy! I am still down three pounds but I have not been working out. I can't say I have been bad (with eating), but I have not been great either. I am sticking to stopping when I am full and I find that restaurants really serve large portions. This gives me an idea...remember the old days when you went to a restaurant and they asked you if you wanted to be seated in "smoking" or "Non-smoking"? I think they should start asking "Fit" or "Fat", that way if you are watching what you eat, you don't have to see the fried mozzarella or banana cream pie cross your path, the fatties on the fat side will be eating that! You will be happy with your grilled veggies and baked chicken on a tea party plate!

My friend Bambi is coming to spend the weekend (skinny bitch #1) she hates when I say that, but anyway, I am pretty confident that aside from the fact that I am taking her to my favorite Italian restaurant and I bought a nice bottle of Pinot Nior, we will probably eat pretty healthy. I sure hope I don't find the three pounds I lost while at Gaetano's!

Okay, as if perky little skinny exercise types don't bug me enough...

I was so looking forward to the weekend so I could sleep in. However, I was rudely awakened by a kid testing a microphone and sounds of women with annoying laughs and voices preparing for some sort of event. Apparently there is a fund raising run taking place on this beautiful day. Had I known, I might have participated, at least if I was getting some exercise I would feel as though getting up at 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday was for a good cause! Instead, I am not able to open our doors to enjoy the beautiful day because the singing fourteen year old is awful. She is singing songs that should be sung by adults and she is so bad that the dogs are all barking obnoxiously. So much for sleeping in. I did practice Spanish for an hour or so, caught up on some emails and facebook and now I am writing this blog.

We were invited to Malibu for the weekend and decided not to go because hubby and I are both exhausted and didn't want to make the drive. Bad choice, at least we could have slept in and been awakened by the sound of crashing waves rather than cackling hens and singing that compares to scratching a chalkboard.

The big question is, shall I get motivated and go for a walk or go to the gym?

Weighing myself this morning reminded me of the fact that in the past, when someone asked how much I weighed I would say, "The last time I weighed myself I weighed 120 pounds". Of course, I never bothered to tell them that I had not weighed myself since I was about twenty. Another thing I used to say was, "I wear a size six" and then under my breath I would say, "in underwear". That was all well and good for a while, and then, I got too big to get away with it. The rude awakening was when I went to the doctor and when the medical assistant told me to step on the scale and the little thing had to be moved I was sure she was stepping on the corner of the scale. Unfortunately that was not the case. Five pounds became ten and ten fifteen and so on, I am going to put an end to this cycle. Tonight I had turkey and asparagus. Okay, so I just ate a Milano, but that's it! I guess I will see how Meatless in March is doing.

I actually lost three pounds! Three pounds just by not continuing to eat when I am full. What a concept! This is better than the time I joined one of those popular diet places, ate their food, followed their program without deviating at all and gained a pound.

I was chatting with my friend Eric yesterday and he reminded me that I need to get back on the tennis court. We used to play every Sunday and I gave up tennis when I took up hockey; now I am doing neither. Thinking about my tennis days reminded me of a funny story, once again involving my pre-bust reduction. I was playing with my friend Joan, we were in a USTA tournament and I was serving. Our opponent hit a drop shot and I ran for the ball from deep in the court and because of my being top heavy when I lunged for the shot at a dead run, I could not stop and I proceeded to flip over the net, I rolled and jumped up pretending I was not hurt. We were in a tie breaker set and I was not going to give up, nor would Joan have allowed me to. My husband was upstairs watching and I knew he was having a fit so I refused to look up at him; I just continued to play pretending everything was fine. Meanwhile, I am not even sure if our opponents noticed that I was holding my racquet in my left hand because I could not grip with my right. My shoulder and back were killing me and my hand was throbbing; but we won the match! Those were the days, I think I do need to find myself a partner to start playing again. Oh Andre, I am ready when you are!